Intoxicated With Greed

 "Callie!" As she searched around her for the familiar voice, she quickly covered the evidence with her comforter.

"Who's there?" She yelled as the shadow of the voice calling her slowly approached and became visible on the walls of her rose painted room. "I need you to explain this to me now!"

Callie panicked. She covered her body with her comforter, trying to disguise all that is hidden beneath. She grabbed her cellphone and pretended to text.

The shadow approached and was then at once in front of her.

Callie sighed in relief. "Don't scare me like that!" She yelled as she swiftly removed the comforter off herself and the stacks of bills.

Her friend and accomplice laughed hysterically. "Callie, seriously you need to relax. We are rich now and no one will ever know how it happened. Our life of being poor and living in the streets is...?" She paused enthusiastically and waited for Callie to finish her sentence. Callie stared at her blankly, still recovering from the frightening moment of believing she was almost caught.

"Our life of being poor and living in the streets is...?" repeated Sully. When she received no response, she yelled "Our life of being poor is OVER! Callie, wake up, since when are you such a punk?"

Callie still didn't respond instead she threw her head against the pillow and thought of what had just occurred.

She closed her eyes and suddenly saw herself there, back at the store. Her and Sully had entered the store pretending to want to purchase some goods but that was not their intention. They had robbed over 7 retail and grocery stores in the past 4 months and were aware of how to portray their act of confused customers.

Sully walked over to the counter and asked assistance in locating a jar of jelly. Callie then walked slowly towards the back of the grocery clerk, pointed her gun at his head and demanded the money be provided to Sully. Sully giggled uncontrollably as she stared at the panicked expression on the older man's face. He rushed to do as commanded. With shaking hands, he threw the bills at the open bag Sully held.

Sully always enjoyed these adventures (as her and Callie called them). Since they met in the homeless shelter they have been inseparable. They became really good friends and then decided to leave the homeless shelters and find a way to become rich. They didn't want to work. Therefore, they both agreed on taking from others what is not theirs in order to change their lives.

After the first hit they were hooked. They were intoxicated with having money. They could've stopped but chose not to.

“Bang, Bang!” Callie shot blindly as her and Sully escaped out of the store.

The memories of the shots shook her back to the present time. When Callie opened her eyes, she was consumed with sadness. She looked around. “Oh no!” she thought as she slowly sat up on the hard concrete floor she was laying on. “Oh no!” she exhaled again though no one would have been able to hear her; it was a soft whisper. She sat inside her nightmare, which was now her reality.

She is no longer 21 years old. Her dream within a dream was done and now her dark brown eyes adjusted back to the reality her and Sully would have to live for the rest of their lives. The greed of money led them to this place and here they will die. Alone, abandoned and broke.

Blue Sea of Love

As the waves rushed past my legs, I feel the breeze gently caress my hair. I sit mesmerized with the beauty in front of me; a beautiful blue sea. 

Staring out towards the sea, I think about the love of my life. I am in love with a man that has demonstrated his trust, thoughtfulness and dedication to me numerous of times. I am in love with his smile and his eyes. This is a love beyond words. A love that is pure, honest, and sincere.

A hand on my shoulder shakes me back to reality. My hands touch the sand as I stand to see the man I love in front of me. With the sound of the sea in the background, I give him my hand. The ring that produced this grand escape shines brightly as we walk hand in hand, beginning the next stage of our lives.

Hello: I Hate You, Goodbye: I Love You

What happens with hurt and anger when someone leaves us or passes away? Do we at that moment stop hating that person? Do all the moments of torture and pain get overshadowed by the feelings of sadness and guilt?

See, I believe as human beings we were instilled upon us a sympathy gene. Above all feelings we are able to sympathize with those that we hate the most and that have mistreated us.

When someone leaves or passes away, whatever they did or did not do when they were around momentarily disappears, if not entirely (that depends on the person). We feel sad that they have left or have passed and therefore we focus on the good memories shared with that person.

But why do we wait until they have left us to focus on the good? 

I want us all to look at the person we have endured pain, anger and stress by and say "I care for you" and/or "I love you". Now is the time to be sympathetic toward that person, even if they don't deserve it. You will feel a sense of relief and less guilt if they were to leave. Why wait until their death bed to silently think those thoughts? Be the bigger person today.

Hello: I love you, Goodbye: I will always love you.

Untitled

So, I don’t know what to write about. At the moment I sit in my room thinking of titles for my next piece. See, that’s what gets the process going for me. The title; once I have that, the words flow naturally and steadily. It’s a magical feeling; just letting go about stress and everything around you and focusing on a plot, climax, paragraph, sentence etc.

See, I was just staring at the computer screen confused as to what I should write about. Should I tell a story about my life? Should I connect a metaphor with a serious topic? Should I write something simplistic and beautiful? I don’t know because I don’t have a title.

Some people are really good at knowing what to write, where to start it, how to end it and where to include connecting and emotional phrases. But what if before getting all that I need a title? I’m sure you are probably wondering why it is so difficult. Well, for me the title is the piece. Without the title there’s not a connection between what the reader should expect and what happens in the story. The title within itself can tell the story or keep the mystery of the story alive.

This is all gibberish I know but it is the only thing that seems to keep my fingers moving while I continue struggling to find what I would like to express next. This is why I love writing. Writing is a collection of words formed to change your life, to make you cry, to make you smile, to excite you, to scare you, to teach you, etc. Words are everything.

Although this was just a piece about my current state of writer’s block it has become the way for me to express my true passion for writing. Above is my process for writing and below is the reason why I do it.

Me.

Inject Me with Happiness

Doctor: “Are you ready?” As he asked me the question I sit in front of him with a sense of hopelessness. My sadness is visibly shown through my posture and facial expression. At once I focused on what was about to occur. “Yes, please inject me. I need it more than ever.”

What if this could be possible? What if we could walk into a doctor’s office and ask for an injection of happiness. We would make weekly, monthly or yearly visits in order to make sure that our pain, and stress and frustration all disappear within the matter of a few minutes.  

Of all the times we feel self-conscious, angry, disappointed, and stressed it would be nice to just call up a doctor and put in a visit. Obviously, this is not possible. We can continue dreaming but we can’t spend too much time doing so because we would waste away our life. We have to take initiative to provide ourselves with a sense of happiness. Think about all the little things in life that can make you smile:  a hug by your brother, a little baby giggling, making a joke and having someone else laugh, watching a comedic show, reading a book, expressing your thoughts on paper, etc. There’s also things that not only make you smile but that make you feel good: like dancing, exercising, talking to a friend on the phone,  remembering childhood memories with a loved one, accomplishing a goal, etc. Think about all those little things that inspire you to live life. This is a way…the real way, that we can inject happiness to ourselves.

"Thanks Doctor. See you next time."

A Kitty Story

Meow that can mean so many things, it can mean that I'm excited or that I'm hungry or that I want to play. Meow I miss making that sound, lately I can't find the effort to. I'm too sad. Why am I sad? Well, I'm alone. Yeah, it’s not unusual for my kind to be alone, but it's also not unusual for us to have a warm home to go to. I've never had that. Don't get me wrong, I've had a place you can technically call a house but it wasn't a home.

I was mistreated and I'm still aching from the pain. My fur has been infested with dirt and fleas. I will never return to that place!

I did escape though.  I escaped and I will not return. The day I left was exciting. My plan was masterful! See, my owner she always comes home to drink bottles and bottles of a substance that I strangely found disgusting but that she seemed to enjoy and couldn't get enough of. At that time, I was in my cage but she HAD to open it because during these times she would take me out and pretend to love me. She would pet me and after a while would fall asleep. When she would wake up, she would throw me on the floor and yell at me to get off her. I don't know why she was so awful to me, but I wanted to love her so I endured years and years of this torture.

 I finally realized that I can find somewhere else and that I didn't need her at all. So when she took me out of the cage this time I managed to pounce on her. I remember watching Tom and Jerry and I have to say Tom is my idol. How he puts all his effort to catch the mouse, he doesn't seem to have much luck but he has perseverance. I recalled one of my favorite episodes and I committed to my plan. She was yelling a lot of fowl words that I prefer not to mention, as she tried to get me off her. She then kicked me.  For a few seconds, I thought I would be losing yet another life! But no, I was only scratched up a bit. I scurried off the floor and made my way past her, up the counter and out of the window!

Freedom! I was so excited to leave that I ran and ran and didn't look back. The feeling of leaving was so overwhelming that I forget that I didn’t have anywhere to run to. At once I stopped and went behind a small bush and cried. Where was I to go? What was I to do? I wanted to Meow to have someone hear me but my soft whimper was all I could manage. If only someone would be nice enough to rescue me and save me from living the life of a street cat.

I wondered for days. I was starving, sad and losing all hope that I would be rescued. Until, the day came; the special day where a complete stranger of the human kind found me shivering from the cold and decided to bring me inside their home.  I loved their home. When I went inside I felt like I was in one of the Tom and Jerry episodes when they were in a type of Wild West movie. Everything in this house was antique. They gave me food and protected me. I loved them, I love them.

They decided to keep me and have taken care of me very much.  I am able to snuggle with them as much as I want, sometimes too much and I believe it may annoy one of my owner’s a bit but she still treats me with kindness. This is now my home. Meow, Meow, Meow.

Based on a true story about two special people that rescued and are caring for a special Kitty; Smokey.

“Move B**ch! Get Out The Way!”

“Move B**ch! Get Out The Way!” this is what I yell within the vicinity of my car while rushing to get to work on time. Yes, I know I should left earlier, but I just love the comfort of my bed too much. This popular song was made for me. I can’t help but to yell those words when I feel I should be driving at a much faster pace. I am confined to drive at a turtle pace because a very inconsiderate person decided to drive in a fast lane, when they belong in the “slow lane”. Yes, I am being too harsh but this is only because I am an extremely impatient person. How can I obtain patience and avoid risking my life by driving like a mad woman?

See, there are many things that trigger impatience besides slow drivers on a fast lane. There is for example: the long line at the supermarket, the long wait at a stop light, or the wait in the doctor’s office. Wait. That is what all these things have in common. For all and many more activities you come across daily, there is a certain amount of time that you are required to just sit (or stand) and wait. Wait causes impatience.  Sadly and unfortunately for me, there is no way to completely avoiding waiting. So what do we do then?

We instead have to learn to become less impatient. Simple things like breathing in and out a few times or reciting positive things in your mind will cause you to relax and feel less anxious. Personally, I like to think about something else entirely. If I am late to work, obviously it is hard to focus on anything but making it on time, but once I realize that no matter what insane things I choose to do at the moment  I will still not make it to work on time, then I do this. I focus on the trees, on the scenery around me. Yes, I know this sounds a little weird and perhaps may not be making sense to most, but if you just relax and focus on your environment and the great things you have been provided on this earth you will start to feel a sense of gratefulness. Focusing on that will allow you to reflect and it will cause you to put things in perspective. You will then start to feel yourself calm down a bit. Doing these things willl cause those waiting times to become precious moments in our lives. 

While it is okay to let out our frustration, as I do by yelling those popular song lyrics to those very slow drivers, it is also much better to learn to minimize our feelings of impatience. We can all do this…we just have to be patient.

Mom, You Are Driving Me Crazy…Literally

“I hate you!” “I wish you weren’t my mother!” “I hate this house!”  Have you said any or all of these things? Have you pronounce worse words to the one human being that gave birth to you? I have and I can say that most of us have spoken words we wish we could swallow back and never say again. Unfortunately, some of us have to live with a mother, grandmother, and any guardian and/or loved one that has no control over their actions or words and therefore causes us to consistently lose control of our well taught manners.

I’m referring to something that is genetic, incurable and extremely hard to cope and live with. It is a dark cloud, that if allowed can become violent and emotionally bearing on someone. Strong winds and rains that are hard to keep under control and therefore causes turmoil and stress with the individual afflicted and those around them.

“Mom, you are driving me crazy...literally” I have had consistent thoughts telling me that I can become just like her. That with my actions, words, and the stress endured throughout the years I will become self-indulged, hypocritical, inconsiderate and a liar. The genetics of the illness makes me think that I will suffer her same fate.  At those moments, when these dark clouds start to form and invade my thoughts I always try to focus that eventually a stream of sun light will appear and allow me to consider that I am nothing like her and therefore cannot completely change overnight.

We have the power to bring sunshine to our lives and to hold back those nasty words. We have to stop and consider the illness overpowering that individual and rethink what will be said. Some of you may be rolling your eyes, but trust me I know. Yes, I know how hard this is. I live with this every day, I try very hard to hold back and it is not easy. I, honestly don’t think that it will ever be easy but we do have the power to control ourselves and to cope with the pain of living a life full of stress endured by the one person we love the most.

This is the power of faith and positive thinking. They will literally…not drive us crazy. Make that your main thought. I have definitely been trying that myself.

Shoot And Kill

Bang! Bang! You are dead or in this scenario the bad guy is dead. That is the concept of most video games: fight for your right to live. You shoot and kill until victorious.  This creates an obsession. You become obsessed with killing all and successfully completing the game. This obsession is addicting. “Play, Play…I HAVE to play!”

See, my boyfriend is one of these addicts. He plays and plays…and? Yes, you guess it…he plays some more. This addiction is not harmful. The addiction can become detrimental if he were to wake up, dial his job and inform his job that he is resigning, just so that he can have more time to play. That would financially harm him, but besides that there are no dire consequences to this addiction.

In our day to day lives we come across many people that do suffer from addictions that can be more than just financially harmful.  Some have addictions that are emotionally and physically damaging to them and the loved ones around them.

There is no need to name all the addictions, but it is important to acknowledge when you or someone has one. This may take some time, but as hard as it may seem you have to be honest with them and/or yourself.  Kill them with honestly and then take action. Don’t become an enabler; help don’t assist. There are treatment centers and many other ways to help a love one and/or yourself to cope with this addiction.

Give yourself or that loved one a chance to become addicts of living a healthy life. After all, we all are addicted to something; let’s choose to make it a positive addiction.

Ugly Butterflies

Have you ever seen an ugly butterfly? Most likely you have not. They are unique creatures with unique colors and shapes. They are adored for being different.  Why can't we adore ourselves for that same concept?

Uniqueness and being different are one in the same. If you are different, you are considered unique, eccentric. If you are unique, you are different; out of the box. We like to believe that differences are accepted and welcomed, but through our actions and words we portray otherwise.

Let's picture ourselves walking down the street. Do you see the No crossing sign? Well it's there! ..so stop! Please stop! Even in this imaginary world I wouldn't want u getting hurt!  So we stopped and there is someone next to us. This person is young. Let's say a female. This woman is about 25 years old and has a very nice figure. So nice, you start to envy her body...just a tad. We then look at her face.  Oh no! You have a sudden reaction to turn away but you can't, like some you just stare. Half of her face is disfigured. You don't know how exactly. The light turns green and she walks away.

What happened there? She was different, unique in her physical form. At that moment some of us would have felt sorry for her and others would have stared and walked away; scared to come in contact with someone who is unlike them, not "normal".

See, I hate that we do this to others and ourselves. We don't appreciate our different colors and shapes. Unlike the beauty we find in butterflies our differences can at times be considered ugly.

I am guilty of this. I judge myself every day. What can be considered beauty quickly becomes something ugly: hair, nails, weight, etc. I no longer want to do this. I want to see my uniqueness as beauty and so should you, so should all of us.

We are different, unique and beautiful no matter what shape or color we are. So next time you cross the street and see the 25 year old woman don't stare, instead smile or even say hello. Look beyond what is considered ugly and different. And then flutter your wings and fly away, waving your "ugly" for all to see.